Program 175: How to comfort the sorrowing
(And how not to!)

Suffering can provide opportunities to draw hurting souls to Yahuwah. In this program, learn the best ways to comfort the suffering.

Welcome to WLC Radio, a subsidiary of World’s Last Chance Ministries, an online ministry dedicated to learning how to live in constant readiness for the Savior's return.

For two thousand years, believers of every generation have longed to be the last generation. Contrary to popular belief, though, Christ did not give believers “signs of the times” to watch for. Instead, he repeatedly warned that his coming would take even the faithful by surprise. Yahushua urgently warned believers to be ready because, he said, “The Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” [Matthew 24:44]

WLC Radio: Teaching minds and preparing hearts for Christ's sudden return.

* * *Part 1: How to comfort the sorrowing

Miles Robey: A Chinese proverb says, “You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.” In life, suffering and sorrow are inevitable. As Christians, we want to be able to cooperate with Yahuwah in relieving suffering. But … how?

Hi, I’m Miles Robey and this is WLC Radio. Many of us—and I include myself in this—find ourselves at a loss as to know what to say or do when someone we care about is suffering. There are definitely things that can help and comfort as well as words that should never be said. I’ve asked Dave Wright to share with us how we, as believers of the gospel, can navigate the minefield of grief. In our first segment, he’s going to share with us some approaches to avoid, and in our next segment, what we can do or say that is helpful. Dave?

Dave Wright: Thank you, Miles. Knowing how to comfort someone who is hurting is an important skill. We live in a world of sin. Hurt, loss, and injustice occur. Knowing how to help people during the dark times can have a real impact on your witness for Yah.

Miles: I find it interesting that you call it a “skill.”

Dave: Absolutely. And it’s one we can learn; one we should learn. There are certain things people tend to say when encountering someone who has experienced severe loss and unfortunately, often what they say is not helpful in the least and, in some cases, can actually cause harm.

Miles: Reminds me of a quote from the 18^th century English writer, Samuel Johnson. He said, quote: “While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till grief be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it.”

Dave: That’s an excellent example of what not to do. When someone is suffering, it makes us feel uncomfortable. We want to make it right, but in trying to make it right, we can make it worse.

This is something Christians in particular need to know how to address, because saying or doing the wrong thing when someone is hurting can actually drive someone away from Yahuwah.

Miles: How? Can you give us some specifics?

Dave: Well … consider, for example, ex-Christians: those who have left the faith. Now, a lot of Christians view such individuals as lost. Some denominations even teach that they should be shunned.

It’s a widely held assumption that most ex-Christians got their feelings hurt by someone at church and simply weren’t committed enough—or had faith enough—to rise above it.

Miles: Yeah, the old, “The church is a hospital for sinners not a country club for saints” excuse.

Dave: But if we would actually listen to what ex-Christians were saying, we’d find that very few of them left because their feelings got hurt. Most of them left because of inconsistencies in their denomination’s specific theology. Their questions weren’t addressed in an open, honest manner. And then, when something tragic did happen, they were pushed away still further by what Church members said or did.

So, there’s definitely a wrong way and a right way to go about comforting people and we’ll talk about both.

Miles: Before we get into that, could you take a few minutes to discuss the emotions people go through when they’re grieving or … even just upset and suffering in any way?

Sometimes as Christians, we get this idea that we should never get upset or experience negative emotions. Almost like it’s a sin to be anything but happy-happy-happy all the time.

Dave: I’ve encountered that attitude, too, but it’s not true. Just read the psalms! You’ll see how David wrestled with every emotion on the spectrum.

Miles: That’s true! Sometimes, it almost sounds like he was a manic-depressive.

Dave: It’s not a sin to feel these emotions! Yahuwah created us to feel emotions. He didn’t create us to be automatons. That’s also why the Father has dealt to everyone a portion of faith. We make it through the “valley of the shadow” by exercising faith, not by denying what we’re feeling or by telling someone else that what they’re feeling is wrong.

Miles: Yeah, guilt is a big one when someone is in mourning.

Dave: The thing to remember with guilt, though, is that it can be grief in disguise. Sometimes people are wracked with guilt over the loss of a loved one—or even the loss of a relationship with a loved one—but they don’t even know why they’re feeling guilty!

Miles: I’ve experienced that. It’s weird. Intellectually, I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong. I wasn’t the person responsible for creating the situation in the first place, but I still felt guilty.

Dave: All right. If you know you did nothing wrong, then what did you have to feel guilty about?

Miles: That’s just it! I don’t know! Like I said, it was weird. I don’t know why I felt so guilty.

Dave: Guilt is being responsible for the commission of an offense. Often when a person struggles with feelings of guilt, what he or she is really feeling is … grief.

Miles: Huh! Yeah … I can see that. There was a lot to grieve.

Dave: And it can get mixed up in our minds.

Miles: What about anger? Obviously, we’re not just talking about suffering where someone has lost a family member to death. We’re talking about any situation where physical, mental, or emotional suffering occurs. So, what about anger? That’s an emotion that can pop up, too.

Dave: I’m glad you asked. There’s this idea among many Christians that anger is a sin.

Miles: Isn’t it?

Dave: Not necessarily. Scripture speaks of Yahuwah being angered. If getting angry were a sin, He’d never get angry.

Miles: Yeah, but … He’s holy.

Dave: So holy beings can’t feel true anger?

Miles: Well, you have to admit, there’s a difference between human anger and divine anger.

Dave: Not always. Anger can be a very good thing to have. It can even be a protection.

What we feel as anger can be the presence of the still, small voice affirming that a wrong has been committed, either against you or someone you love. Or even someone you don’t know! You can feel anger when hearing about some gross injustice committed against someone else. It’s the inner voice affirming that what was done was wrong.

Miles: So how do you tell the difference between anger that’s a sin and righteous anger?

Dave: How do you deal with the anger? Anger becomes a sin when the way a person deals with that emotion is harmful to another. Some people—men and women—take out their anger at a spouse by physically abusing them. That is always wrong. There is never a situation in which hitting one’s spouse is justified. And while men are more commonly physically abusive, women can be, too.

Other people deal with anger by lashing out verbally. They take out their anger by saying hurtful things to those around them, whether it’s a spouse, child, friend … employee, even.

Miles: Oh, yeah. That’s a common way a lot of people release anger. But I’ve always viewed lashing out as selfish. All you’re doing is transferring your own emotions onto someone else.

Dave: Hmmm. That’s very insightful. I can see that.

So, the emotion of anger isn’t necessarily a sin. Sometimes, anger is justified. It’s what we do with that anger that determines whether it’s a sin or not. And the last thing a person needs when he or she has been wronged and is angry is to be told they shouldn’t feel that way.

Elise O’Brien has given me permission to share a story that I think really illustrates this point.

Miles: Oh, hey! She’s just there in the outer office.

Dave: Elise! Why don’t you come in and share your story?

Miles: Is she–? Nope! No, she’s shaking her head at you. She doesn’t want to come in. So, what’s the story?

Dave: Well, you know her son has been sick for some time.

Miles: Yeah. Quite a while.

Dave: Starting around the time he was 10, he’s been very, very sick and getting worse. Elise has taken him to doctor, after doctor, after doctor. A huge variety of different specialists. She’s been telling them for years:

• He has a hard time breathing
• He’s tired all the time
• He gets worse with physical exertion
• He runs low-grade temperatures
• He’s lost a lot of muscle mass
• He gets better briefly on antibiotics, but always gets sick again.

Miles: Wow. I didn’t realize it was that serious or been going on that long. How old is he now? Seventeen?

Dave: Eighteen.

Anyway, each new doctor, she’d tell herself that she’d keep taking her son back until they got a diagnosis. And she would take him back time after time … right up until the doctor would sit her down and say, “Are you paying him enough attention? Is he depressed?”

Miles: Oh, no. So basically, when they couldn’t find anything wrong, they accused him of faking it to get attention.

Dave: Yes. And certain people within her friend group have been no better. One actually accused her of having Munchausen’s syndrome by proxy.

Miles: Wow. Isn’t that where a caregiver makes someone sick or exaggerates a dependent’s symptoms just to get sympathy?

Dave: Yes. Another “friend” told her that her son was lazy and that if she didn’t motivate him, he’d end up fat, jobless and living in her basement by 30. This person then proceeded to share that insulting opinion with their other mutual friends.

Miles: Making an already heavy burden worse.

Dave: Elise has been the lone voice for years, insisting: “I know my son. He’s sick! He’s not depressed. He’s not faking it. He. Is. Sick!”

Finally, just last week, the—what was it? Twelfth?—she’s shaking her head. Thir—fif—fifteen. The fifteenth doctor finally gave them a diagnosis.

Miles: What was wrong? Can you say? Can he say?

Dave: A strep infection.

Miles: Seriously?

Dave: A simple strep infection. The problem is, he’s had it for so many years now, it’s caused organ damage.

Miles: Wow. Something so simple that could have been cleared up years ago if only it had been properly diagnosed.

Dave: Well, naturally, Elise is now dealing with a lot of conflicting emotions. Of course, she’s thrilled her son can now get well. He’s going to have to have surgery, but he will get well.

At the same time, she’s dealing with a lot of anger and frustration that it went so long. And she’d taken him to the right kind of doctors. Out of those fifteen, she’d taken him to four different ear-nose-and-throat specialists. Why didn’t someone catch it before it wasted eight years of his life?

Miles: Good question. I’m sure there’s a lot of grief, too, that this has gone on so long, impacting his life so much.

Dave: Sure! Anyway, she was sharing with a friend her struggle: gratitude and relief that he can finally get well, as well as frustration and grief that it’s taken this long, as well as a heaping dose of resentment at the unflattering assumptions people have formed about his character—

Miles: Which also becomes a reflection of her as a parent—

Dave: Yes, of course. So her friend is listening sympathetically and then she says something clearly intended to help. She leans forward and gently encourages, “Let it go.”

Miles: Well … was that wrong? I mean, holding onto resentments only harms us. It doesn’t hurt others.

Dave: Of course. But here’s the thing: Elise is grieving. Here her son is 18 now. He’s lost years of life, he’s suffering organ damage, he’s gotten far behind in school, and all because of an infection that could have been cleared up with antibiotics if it had just been properly diagnosed years ago.

If we want to comfort people who are suffering, we need to understand that grief is a process and anger is just one step in that process.

Miles: Soooo … if we encourage people who are expressing grief or anger to just “let it go,” it can come across as judgmental, like we’re assuming they’re bearing a grudge?

Dave: That, and it’s not helpful. Again, anger is just one step in the healing process. It’s not helpful to urge a person to leapfrog over the process and just artificially declare themselves just fine with everything. That’s how emotions are suppressed, and that’s never healthy. I see many Christians doing this in a mistaken belief that they should never feel negative emotions.

Miles: Yeah, I can see that. Healing itself is a process. It takes time. You can’t rush it, and people have to take it at their own pace. Implying that they’re taking too long just comes across as critical, finding fault when they’re already struggling.

Dave: Exactly.

In 1969, a doctor by the name of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross published a book called On Death and Dying. In what was a truly groundbreaking work, she stated that, as a medical doctor, she had observed five stages of grief:

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression, and finally
• Acceptance

Since then, others have built on her work and said that there were more stages of grief, but these five are the basic stages that everyone goes through at their own pace. This isn’t “pop psychology.” This is how Yahuwah hard-wired our brains. He knows this, and there are promises and reassurances in Scripture for every stage of healing. But we don’t help anyone trying to rush them through those stages.

Miles: That’s a good point. I think it’s important that, as Christians, we know this so we can support our brothers and sisters in Christ at every step along the way, not come across as though we’re judging them for being angry or being depressed or whatever.

It reminds me of something I read by Pema Chödrön. She’s a Buddhist nun that has written dozens of books. Anyway, she said, quote: “Healing comes from letting there be room for all of ‘this’ to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”

Dave: That’s exactly my point. We’ve often said that between now and the end we’re going to have to go through some really challenging, chaotic, and—quite frankly—catastrophic times. There will be loss of life on an immense scale. As we’ve said before, Yahuwah allows the devil the freedom to work on an unprecedented level. He allows this to open people’s eyes to what’s really going on.

We can use these events as opportunities to witness and draw people to Christ as well as speak words of comfort and cheer to fellow believers, strengthening their faith.

Miles: Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens.”

Dave: Right! We want to be Yah’s mouthpiece in the world. We need to know what to say and what not to say in order to cooperate with Heaven to draw souls to Yahuwah at their lowest points.

Miles: What would you say is probably the worst thing you could say to someone grieving?

Dave: I’m not sure you can narrow it down to just one thing. Uhh … never start a statement with “at least.”

• At least he didn’t suffer.
• At least she didn’t have children.
• At least you can always have another baby.
• At least it was fast.
• At least it wasn’t worse.

Miles: I always hated the “Well, he’s in a better place now,” and the “God just loved her so much, He took her to be with Him.” Not only does it contradict what Scripture says happens at death, but that just makes Yahuwah appear selfish. What a horrible thing to say to someone grieving the loss of a loved one!

Dave: These statements come from a desire to help but the thing is, when a loss has occurred, no words can make it all better. Getting fired because you want to honor Yahuwah by worshipping on His Sabbaths is unjust. You’re not going to suddenly feel better if someone says, “At least you can find another job” or, worse, “Yahuwah knew someone else needed that job more than you did.”

Miles: Yeah, that’s just insulting.

Dave: People have the right to process through their emotions. That’s why the book of psalms can be so helpful when people are struggling. You can see David processing his emotions of grief and anger and every other emotion in the psalms he wrote.

Miles: Is there anything you should never say to an unbeliever that, perhaps, you could get by with saying to a believer? You know, you were saying how, in the days ahead, properly knowing how to encourage someone can make a difference in whether a person is drawn to Yahuwah or repelled. Is there anything in particular you shouldn’t say to an unbeliever?

Dave: “I’m praying for you.”

Miles: Really! Now see, I would have thought that letting an unbeliever know you’re praying for him, her, the situation, whatever, would be the perfect opening to witness.

Dave: A lot of people think that. But you’re asking about unbelievers. An atheist doesn’t believe in the power of prayer. To them, as well as to many ex-Christians who don’t believe in prayer, saying you’ll pray for them isn’t a witness. It’s an easy-out. You may be viewing it as a statement of your faith in Yah’s power to help, but they view it as empty words instead of anything practical.

Miles: Yeah. Yeah, okay. I can see that.

How about telling someone, “Try to move on.” It’s kind of like “Try to let it go,” isn’t it?

Dave: Same with “Everything happens for a reason.” You might be thinking of Romans 8:28 which says, “all things work together for good to those who love [Yah], to those who are the called according to His purpose,” but that’s not necessarily where their mind will go.

Miles: Especially if they’re an unbeliever.

Dave: Right, right! Another is “Try and stay busy. It’ll keep your mind off of it.”

Miles: Oooo! Ouch!

Dave: See, with all of these responses, we’re trying to “fix it.” And we can’t always. We’re trying to “fix it,” fix them, because we’re uncomfortable with the situation. We want to offer advice, we want to make it all better. But the truth is, we don’t have the power to make it better and it’s not going to actually be better until Yahuwah’s kingdom is established on earth.

Miles: All right, so this has been a lot of “don’t do this,” and “don’t say that.” And that’s helpful. I think our knee-jerk reaction is, like you say, trying to “fix it” and when we can’t, we can be clumsy. But let’s talk now about what things do work and what we can say and do in such situations to help, both believers and unbelievers.

Actually, no. Wait. We’re going to take a quick break, but let’s talk about practical things we can do and say when we return. We’ll be right back.

* * *

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* * *Part 2: How to comfort the sorrowing

Miles: So we’ve talked about what not to say or do when someone—believer or non-believer—is suffering. Let’s talk now about what we can do, what we can say, to help others that can also, hopefully, draw them to Yahuwah.

Dave: Well, you know me. I always like to look at Biblical principles. So, let’s start in Matthew chapter 12. Would you turn there for us, please?

Yahushua had a three-fold mission. The first, of course, was to redeem the human race where Adam fell. And this he accomplished by living a perfect, sinless life, never once giving in to temptation.

The second purpose of his mission was to reveal the Father to fallen human minds. The Father is so high and so perfect that fallen minds can’t grasp the beauty of His character. So Yahushua came to reveal what the Father would be like if He were a human.

Do you remember when Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that is all we need”? What was the Saviour’s response?

Miles: “Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.”

Dave: “So how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?” [John 14:9] That’s right. In every action and reaction of the Saviour, we’re to see what the Father would do and say and think and feel if He were human.

The third purpose of Yahushua’s mission, then, was to be our example. When he washed the disciples’ feet, he said, “I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.” [John 13:15] Of course, in that context, he was speaking specifically of the ordinance of foot washing, but the principle holds true for everything in his life: he is our example in everything.

So, when we want to learn how to comfort others, all we have to do is learn how Yahushua did it, because that teaches us how the Father does it.

So. You’ve got Matthew 12?

Miles: Yep. What verse?

Dave: Uh, verses … 17 through … 21. This is actually Matthew quoting from Isaiah 42, so there’s no doubt whatsoever that this passage applies to the Messiah. It’s describing his mission. Let’s see what it says.

Miles:

This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah:

“Here is my servant whom I have chosen,
the one I love, in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him,
and he will proclaim justice to the nations.
He will not quarrel or cry out;
no one will hear his voice in the streets.
A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out,
till he has brought justice through to victory.
In his name the nations will put their hope.”

Dave: Yahuwah put His spirit within the Messiah and the result was that Yahushua reflected what Yahuwah was like. And the way he acted was that he did not quarrel or cry out. In other words, he didn’t accuse others. He didn’t break those who were already bruised. Those who were struggling, he didn’t stomp all over them, making their burden even harder. And that’s how we will act when we see others suffering, whether they be believers or non-believers. It’s by revealing Yahuwah’s love that souls are drawn to Him.

Miles: Because love awakens love. That’s good.

So, let’s talk specifics now. That’s the principle. Now what does it look like live and in action?

Dave: All right. There are three specific ways Yahushua showed Yahuwah’s love to those who were suffering.

1. He used words.
2. He never condemned.
3. He provided practical help.

Let’s look at each of these on its own. Number one: words. Words are powerful. They can either build each other up or tear each other down. Paul recognized this. Read 1 Thessalonians 5 verse 11.

Miles: All right, it says: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

Dave: Anyone committed to cooperating with Yahushua in comforting the sorrowing and binding up the broken hearted is going to understand the power of words. Turn now to Proverbs 25 and read verse 11. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of speaking proper words when attempting to strengthen, comfort and encourage another.

You have it? Go ahead.

Miles: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”

Dave: The opposite is also true. Words that are spoken ill-advisedly can linger and cause harm for, literally, years after the fact. We never want our words to be a stumbling block to someone else.

Miles: In our last segment, we talked a lot about what not to say. Can you give us some pointers on what we should say? Because, speaking for myself, I often find myself at a loss. I don’t want to hurt someone, so I tend to not say anything because I don’t know what to say to make it better.

Dave: Well, first understand that there’s nothing you can say that will make it better. This is getting back to the impulse we discussed before of trying to “fix” the situation. Depending upon the circumstances, it’s not always in our power to fix anything. So, while our words can’t cure anything, staying silent isn’t helpful, either.

If you don’t know what to say to someone who’s suffered an overwhelming loss or injustice, say that: “I honestly don’t know what to say to you. Words seem so little in the face of what you’re going through. But I want you to know I’m here for you and I care.”

Miles: That’s good; that’s good.

Dave: Whatever you do, never tell someone “I know just how you feel” or even “I can just imagine what you must be going through.”

No, you don’t! Unless you’ve lived an identical life with identical experiences the whole way through, there is no way any of us can know what someone else is going through.

Instead, try saying, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now.” That acknowledges their pain without presumptuously claiming to know just what they’re feeling.

Miles: Yeah, that actually is very effective. When I was a young teen, a neighbor on our street was driving into the city when a drunk driver ran a red light and killed him. He was in his 70s, but in good health and clearly could have lived longer.

Well, it was a couple of months later that, one day, I was walking home from school with my sister. She was a few years older than I was and a bit more … smooth, shall we say, in social situations. As we were nearing home, we passed the widow going the other direction. Not knowing what to say without stirring up painful memories, I just wanted to slink past with a nod, but my sister stopped and spoke to her.

Dave: That’s a good point. I know we think we’re going to stir up painful memories if we speak of their loss, but it’s already at the forefront of their mind! They haven’t forgotten. And never saying anything can actually make the person suffering feel more alone.

So, what did your sister say?

Miles: Well, she simply said, “Mrs. Powell, I am so very, very sorry you lost your husband.” And then she said the magic words. She said, “I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be going through right now.”

Dave: So what happened?

Miles: Well, it really struck a chord with the grieving widow. She reached out and clung to my sister’s hands and said earnestly, “No, you do not! You absolutely do not!”

It was clearly a relief to her that someone “got it” that they didn’t know and weren’t trying to pretend to know. Her pain was too big for someone of my age to comprehend. They had been married over 50 years. How could a teenager even begin to comprehend the life experiences they had shared, the love and the intimacy, all of which had been stolen from her?

Dave: Well, obviously the widow found it affirming; she found it very validating to have someone acknowledge her pain without trying to claim to know just how she felt.

So, when speaking to someone who has suffered an injustice, or a loss, don’t try to fix the situation. We need to talk less and listen more

Miles: Don’t give unsolicited medical advice. I’ve a cousin that’s physically handicapped. Wherever he does, people want to know “what’s wrong with him”—

Dave: Which is a rather insulting thing to say!

Miles: Right? And, without knowing his medical history, they want to tell him all about this wonderful treatment that helped their wife’s sister-in-law’s cousin’s mother’s best friend. The truth is, it’s been literally years since someone actually suggested something that he hasn’t already heard about and tried. So, yeah. Unsolicited medical advice isn’t helpful.

Dave: Goes back to trying to “fix” the situation, doesn’t it? Instead of claiming to know exactly what a person is feeling or making comments to try and help them feel better or giving unsolicited advice, try saying something like:

• “I’m here for you and your family.”
• “It’s okay to be scared.”
• “I love you and I’ll miss you.”
• “My life is better for having known you.”
• “I am so sorry you were treated that way.”
• “I’m sorry that happened to you. It was very unfair.”

See, statements like these validate without imposing.

Miles: What about sharing a Bible promise?

Dave: Certainly. Those can be incredibly comforting … if you’re sharing it with someone who is already a believer. It’s unlikely to be anything but empty words to someone who’s a non-believer, but there are other ways to reach non-believers.

If you’re going to share a promise, though, take your time to do your research and find one that specifically addresses their situation. Like Elise keeps reminding us, there are so many promises available to us. You won’t ever have a situation in which there isn’t a promise that fits those circumstances. There are promises for when someone is bereaved, of course, but there are also promises for someone who finds himself being treated unfairly at work; for someone who finds herself the object of malicious gossip; for parents whose grown children have rejected the spiritual teaching they received in childhood.

Whatever the circumstances, there will be a promise that fits that situation, so take the time to find it. It will have a lot more impact.

Miles: What about prayer? I was a bit surprised in our last segment when you said you should never tell a non-believer that you’re praying for him or her.

Dave: Well, can you see how, to someone who doesn’t believe in prayer, it’s just empty words?

Miles: Yeah, okay. But what about for believers?

Dave: Certainly we should pray for each other. But I’m going to be honest here: how many believers—and we’re talking about those who truly are believers—how many who say “I’m praying for you” actually do follow through and pray?

Honestly, I can see why many non-believers view such statements as hollow. It sounds devout, but too often it becomes just another socially polite thing to say. And if we do remember to pray, it’s probably just a quick addition to our regular prayers. And I’m speaking of myself here, too. I’ve been guilty of this as well.

Miles: Yeah, me, too.

Dave: If you’re able to, it’s a lot better to take a moment and say, “May I pray for you right now?” And do it in the moment! I’ve even had someone who knew our family was going through a tough time send me a text in which she typed in a prayer. That had meaning. It touched our hearts during a really difficult time and was very encouraging to us.

Miles: I’m getting the sense that some of the ways you can comfort and help believers are not the most effective way for non-believers. Obviously, any overtly spiritual statement to a non-believer isn’t going to be all that effective. Is there a better way to reach non-believers that can still be used by Yah to draw them to Him? I can see why words of faith wouldn’t be the most effective for non-believers, but I also believe that Yahuwah can reach anyone anywhere. We’re talking about ways to cooperate with Him in drawing the suffering and the sorrowing to Him. So what, in your opinion, is the best way to do that?

Dave: Well, following Christ’s example, there are two more ways in which he ministered to others that were very effective on both believers and non-believers alike. In fact, these two practices are why Christ’s public ministry was so effective, why it drew the multitudes to him.

The first is no condemning. Never condemn someone else. A person who feels condemned isn’t going to be drawn to you and they certainly won’t be drawn to Yahuwah. This is a really important point because many Christians feel that part of their Christian witness is to point out where someone else is sinning.

Miles: I know I shouldn’t be laughing, but it’s true! It’s true. In fact, that was one of the reasons the Pharisees persecuted Yahushua so relentlessly. They didn’t like how popular he was with the common people.

Dave: And the whole reason he was so popular, of course, was that he accepted everyone. He treated everyone with kindness, courtesy … dignity. He didn’t point out their faults. He didn’t reject their hospitality because he didn’t agree with their “lifestyle choices.” He was kind. He was loving.

Miles: Yeah, listen to this. It’s the first two verses of Luke 15. It says: “Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Yahushua. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, ‘This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.’”

Dave: He showed everyone by his words and actions the same love and acceptance the Father shows when sinners come to Him. And if we want to draw people to Yahuwah—especially if they’re already suffering a loss of some kind—we will treat them with the same easy, open acceptance that Yahushua did because that’s what the Father does.

See, the thing is that the Pharisees thought that Yahushua was like them. That’s why they tried to trap him when they set up a situation to catch a woman in adultery.

Miles: And you know it was a set up because all they had was the woman. Where was the man?

Dave: Right! Let’s take a look at that. John 8. Let’s start with verse 2.

Miles:

Now early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came to him; and he sat down and taught them. Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do you say?” This they said, testing him, that they might have something of which to accuse him. [John 8:2-6a]

Dave: See, if he suggested mercy or leniency, they planned to condemn him to the people as not regarding the law of Moses. But if he said the law of Moses should be upheld, they could condemn him to the Romans. But Yahushua was too wise for them. After writing in the dust on the floor a list of their own sins, he said…?

Miles: “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” [John 8:7b] I’ve always loved that! Such a brilliant response!

Dave: And he wasn’t done. After all the accusers slipped away, he turned to the woman and what did he say to her? Verses 10 and 11.

Miles:

When Yahushua had raised himself up and saw no one but the woman, he said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”

She said, “No one, Lord.”

And Yahushua said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

Dave: The Saviour doesn’t condemn us! And what does that tell us about the Father?

Miles: Neither does He.

Dave: And if we want to draw souls to Yahuwah the way the Saviour did, we won’t condemn anyone, either! It’s. Not. Our. Job.

See, sometimes people find themselves in a situation as the result of their own poor choices. It happens. We all make mistakes.

Miles: We all have a fallen nature.

Dave: People aren’t idiots. When they find themselves in trouble due to their own mistakes, Satan is right there to push on them a sense of guilt and tell them that they can’t go to Yahuwah for help. The very last thing they need is someone coming along and making them feel worse by pointing out their mistakes and errors. That’s what Isaiah was talking about when he said that the Messiah would not break a bruised reed or snuff out a smoldering wick.

Miles: And yet, it’s so easy for us to do that. We like tearing others down, pointing out their mistakes, because it makes us feel so much better about ourselves.

Dave: This is a real problem among Christians today, and the more conservative the Christian, the bigger the problem. I don’t see very many conservatives today following Yahushua’s example of open love and acceptance. Instead, Christians today bear a striking resemblance to the Pharisees.

If Christ had held himself aloof from those the Pharisees condemned as sinners, they would have accepted him. But he accepted those the Pharisees liked to look down on and sneer at. The same thing is happening today.

Miles: For example?

Dave: Well, it differs by culture. Perhaps in India it’s refusing to go to the home of, or allow your child to marry, a person of a lower caste. In the United States, this is most commonly seen in how they treat people who are homosexual. Can’t invite brother and his husband to family get togethers because that would be seen as giving approval to their relationship.

But isn’t that exactly the same dynamic when Yahushua ate at the home of Zacheus or Matthew the tax collector? The publicans, the prostitutes, the tax collectors: these were the outcasts of Christ’s day and the way he treated them was with dignity, respect, courtesy, kindness, and acceptance. You’ll never draw any soul to Yah any other way.

Miles: Certainly not by sniffing, “I love you, but I hate your sin.”

Dave: It’s not our job to convict of sin. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job and he doesn’t need our help with that. Where our help is needed is in showing the same loving kindness that Christ came to reveal about the Father’s character.

Okay. Last point on how to draw suffering people to Yahuwah. Give practical help. Christ’s whole public ministry was dedicated to giving people practical help. There are so many examples of this. Turn to Luke 7 and let’s look at just one instance. Luke 7, verses 11 through 15.

Miles:

Soon afterward, Yahushua went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a large crowd went along with him. As he approached the town gate, a dead person was being carried out—the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the town was with her. When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, “Don’t cry.”

Then he went up and touched the bier they were carrying him on, and the bearers stood still. He said, “Young man, I say to you, get up!” The dead man sat up and began to talk, and Yahushua gave him back to his mother.

Dave: Now, none of us know what the future holds, but chances are good that it’s unlikely we’ll ever raise anyone from the dead.

That said, this is a perfect example of Yahushua offering very practical help. This woman was a widow, and the deceased was her only son. That’s important because in that time and culture, a woman had very few ways to support herself. In fact, since property always passed to the closest male relative, it’s possible that the nearest male relative was actually quite distantly related and he’d come in, take her house, and kick her to the curb. It had been known to happen.

So when Yahushua raised the young man back to life, he was doing more than just proving he was the Messiah. He was giving this grieving mother very real, practical assistance.

Miles: What about the miracle of the loaves and fishes? We get so caught up in focusing on the miracle itself that it’s easy to overlook the circumstances in which the Saviour performed that miracle. Listen to this. It’s Mark 6. Verses 35 and 36 say: “By this time it was late in the day, so his disciples came to him. ‘This is a remote place,’ they said, ‘and it’s already very late. Send the people away so that they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.’”

Dave: That’s an excellent example. So, Yahushua multiplies the bread and the fish to meet their temporal needs. It was late. They were hungry. He provided for them. This is very practical help and it’s the sort of help that makes the biggest impression on non-believers.

You know, we spent quite a bit of time discussing what not to say to a non-believer. But Christ’s example shows us how to reach them and that is by doing.

Miles: I’ve read that when a person is having a real struggle, be it a health issue, or the loss of a job or a family member or whatever, saying, “Let me know what I can do to help” isn’t really all that helpful. They’re already so overwhelmed, now you’re giving them one more burden, one more thing to figure out for themselves: how you can help them.

Instead, it’s a lot better to step up and offer to do something concrete. Maybe it’s picking kids up from school if needed, or organizing a rotation amongst the friends to bring by meals, or … I don’t know. Filling the car with gas. Mowing the lawn.

Maybe it’s cleaning the house or helping file paperwork.

Dave: Maybe it’s helping set up a Go Fund Me account for an elderly person. You know, the elderly are often confused by modern technology and can really use the help.

But, yeah. These are all fantastic suggestions. They’re very practical ways to show the love of Yahuwah.

When I was a boy—about 9 or 10, I think—there was a family in town that had three kids. I didn’t know them. The kids didn’t go to my school, but I heard about them because the father had been walking in the dark along the side of a road when a man driving a truck didn’t see him and struck and killed him. It was an accident. No alcohol involved. Just a terrible tragedy, but the widow was left with three young kids.

I remember it because my mum went and purchased quite a lot of groceries for the family. She brought me along to help unload them. I wondered at the time if she knew them, but she said she didn’t. Just that they were a family in need and it was our honor to be Yahuwah’s hands, helping them. It was a lesson that really stuck with me.

Miles: I can see how, especially to non-believers, practical help is going to reveal the non-judgmental, non-condemnatory love and acceptance of the Father far more than any words ever could.

Dave: This is what it means to live out our faith. In the days ahead, especially when the trumpets of Revelation begin to sound, there is going to be tremendous loss of life. There’s going to be a tremendous amount of suffering.

By showing the same love and acceptance Yahushua did, we will be revealing Yahuwah’s own love and acceptance in our lives. And when we do that, we’ll be cooperating with Him to draw souls to Him.

Let’s close with Isaiah 61 verse 1. Could you read that for us?

Miles:

The Spirit of Adonai Yahuwah is upon me,
Because Yahuwah has anointed me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound.

Dave: Yahushua himself quoted this passage in Luke 4 as applying to himself. This is also what we are to do. If we want to draw hurting hearts to Yahuwah, we will work just as Christ did. This is how we witness to people who are suffering.

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You are listening to World's Last Chance Radio.

WLC Radio: Teaching minds and preparing hearts for Christ's sudden return.

* * *Daily Promise

Hello! This is Elise O’Brien with today’s daily promise from Yah’s word.

In late August of 2005, Hurricane Katrina hit the gulf coast of the United States. The category 5 storm was the third-strongest hurricane to make landfall in United States’ history up to that time. Fully half of the city of New Orlean’s 350-mile-long system of flood walls and levees was overwhelmed. By the afternoon of August 29, 80% of the city was under water, a condition that lingered for weeks afterward.

One thousand, eight hundred and thirty-six people were killed and millions were left homeless across the states of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama. The death toll was the fourth highest of any hurricane in US history, and the cost, estimated by the National Oceanic and Atmosphere Administration to be $125 billion dollars in damages, was the costliest US hurricane on record. As of the time of this broadcast, almost twenty years later, the population of New Orleans still has not recovered to its pre-Katrina numbers of 484,674 residents.

As word spread of the disaster, offers of help poured in from around the world. And not just from the United States’ allies. Cuba was one of the first countries to offer aid, offering to send 1,586 doctors and 26 tons of medicine. Offers of help came from Afghanistan, the Philippines, Singapore, India, China, France, Germany, Egypt, Kuwait, the United Kingdom, Spain, and many, many more. Mexico and Canada, neighbors of the US, sent a lot of support. Iran, a long-time political enemy of the US, offered to send humanitarian aid and 20 million barrels of crude oil. Even countries like Djibouti, Gabon, Armenia, Peru, Nigeria, Papua New Guinea, and tiny Palau offered help and support. It was a humanitarian crisis of historical proportions and the world stepped up to offer aid.

Word of the disaster and the suffering of the survivors reached a group of women in Uganda. Many of these women had AIDS and worked at a strip mine outside of the capitol city of Kampala. For the back-breaking work of crushing rock into gravel by hand, they were paid just one dollar and 20 cents a day. That’s the equivalent of a little over 1 Euro. A day! Could you live on that? These women were themselves in dire poverty and yet, somehow, they managed to donate nine hundred dollars, or 895 Euros, to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. That is an immense amount!

When I read this story on the news, it reminded me of a story told in Mark 12, verses 41 to 44. It says:

Yahushua sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.

Calling his disciples to him, Yahushua said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

You may want to work for Yahuwah but feel that what you have to give is too little—too little money, too little time—to count for much. But that’s not true. Yahuwah reads the heart. In Matthew 25 verse 40, He says, “Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.”

Yahuwah sees what you do. Maybe it’s taking an extra hour to comfort and pray with a friend who is suffering even though you’re tired and just want to get home. Maybe it’s sending a text with a Bible promise to encourage someone who is going through a difficult time. Perhaps it’s helping a poverty-stricken family you know. No gift is too small because the Father considers every act done in kindness to be done as to Himself.

We have been given great and precious promises. Go and start claiming.

* * *

Part 3: How to comfort the sorrowing

Dave: As we said at the start of today’s program, life in a sinful world is painful. It’s why the Father never wanted us to know about sin! And it’s only going to get worse between now and the end.

But the very experiences that are so painful can, under the influence and guidance of the spirit of Yah, be used to draw people to Yahuwah, letting them see His love, His kindness, His empathy through us. Through us, Yahuwah can reach out to hurting souls and surround them with His comforting peace.

Miles: And isn’t that what we want to do? Let the light of the Father’s love shine through us to everyone within our sphere of influence.

Dave: Absolutely. And, yes. Even though we’ve some tough times to get through, we know that the end result will be worth it.

Would you please turn to Revelation chapter 21? This is the next-to-last chapter in the entire Bible and the promises it contains are so beautiful. Revelation 21 and the first four verses.

Miles:

Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from [Yahuwah], prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of [Yah] is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. [Yahuwah] Himself will be with them and be their Theos [or God]. And [Yah] will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

Dave: This, right here, this is the reward waiting all who stay faithful through all of earth’s trials. Sometimes our experiences here can make us feel like if we start crying we’ll never stop. But the promise is that Yahuwah Himself will wipe away every tear. There’ll be no more sorrow, no more injustice, nor more persecution. Nothing that would create within us feelings of grief or guilt or anger. And anything left over from our time before Yah’s kingdom was set up? Yah will wipe away all those tears.

Miles: What a reward to look forward to! And being able to cooperate with Yahuwah to win souls to Him—what a privilege! Yes, painful things happen and will continue to happen. Injustices occur that hurt us and make us angry. Loss makes us grieve, but we can use the opening to draw souls to Yah!

It reminds me of a verse in Daniel 12. Give me just a second to find it here …

Here we go. Daniel 12 verses 1 to 3. It’s talking about the time of trouble that precedes Christ’s return. It says:

And at that time your people shall be delivered,
Every one who is found written in the book.
And many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake,
Some to everlasting life,
Some to shame and everlasting contempt.

Now listen to this. This is the part I like. It says:

Those who are wise shall shine
Like the brightness of the firmament,
And those who turn many to righteousness
Like the stars forever and ever.

Dave: What a privilege to work with Christ in binding up the broken hearted, comforting the sorrowing, and leading many to salvation.

Miles: Amen! And we can start now with everyone within our circle of influence!

Well, our time for today is up. Please join us again tomorrow, and until then, remember: Yahuwah loves you . . . and He is safe to trust!

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This program and past episodes of WLC Radio are available for downloading on our website. They're great for sharing with friends and for use in Bible studies! They're also an excellent resource for those worshipping Yahuwah alone at home. To listen to previously aired programs, visit our website at WorldsLastChance.com. Click on the WLC Radio icon displayed on our homepage.

In his teachings and parables, the Savior gave no “signs of the times” to watch for. Instead, the thrust of his message was constant … vigilance. Join us again tomorrow for another truth-filled message as we explore various topics focused on the Savior's return and how to live in constant readiness to welcome him warmly when he comes.

WLC Radio: Teaching minds and preparing hearts for Christ's sudden return.